One of the most difficult things about being an adult with ADD is that every time I think I have decided about something, a better idea comes up and I'm off in a new direction. This looks strangely like I don't have my shit together to most of the people who love and care about me.
And being and extrovert with ADD is even worst because I am actually communicating all of my thought process with the outside world who is hoping desperately that I will "make a decision already." It is part of the process. One of the hardest things for me is that everyone wants to weigh in on one option or another and they all have very good ideas about why that option is better then the rest but mostly they don't understand that I just need to hear all of the options out loud so that I can decide.
Then the cycle starts: thought comes into head, not fully formed thought comes out of mouth, unsuspecting audience feels the need to make contribution, thought gets distorted, goes back into head as new thought, and back out of mouth.
This entire situation is exaggerated by the fact that I am contemplating (and doing) things that many of them find a little outrageous. But in all of this they seem to still love me.
8.31.2009
8.29.2009
In My Life
It has taken me 25 years to put together this life in Gainesville and I am taking it apart in weeks. The truth is I have been taking it apart for the last few years a little at a time.
But these last few weeks have been the hardest. Trying to decide what parts to take, what parts to leave. Saying goodbye, and not know if it is the last time. I love so many people in Gainesville and have been loved. It will take a long time to create these types of relationship again in my life.
In My Life - Beatles
"There are places I'll remember all my life
though some have changed.
Some forever not for better
Some are gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
with lovers and friends that went before
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all..."
Can't say it any better than that.
But these last few weeks have been the hardest. Trying to decide what parts to take, what parts to leave. Saying goodbye, and not know if it is the last time. I love so many people in Gainesville and have been loved. It will take a long time to create these types of relationship again in my life.
In My Life - Beatles
"There are places I'll remember all my life
though some have changed.
Some forever not for better
Some are gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
with lovers and friends that went before
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all..."
Can't say it any better than that.
8.28.2009
Do You Remember The Time?
I played a game with my children and now with my granddaughters where during an unusual or scary or interesting event we pretend that the event has already taken place.
One of my favorite examples of this is what we now refer to as the Brooklyn Bridge in New Orleans. Brooklyn is my step-granddaughter. We were in New Orleans, in heavy traffic, and she got very sick in the car. We were on a bridge and pulled over onto a very narrow shoulder and Brooklyn preceded to be very sick all over the side of the bridge. As a 6 year old child she was mortified.
Arielle, recognizing Brooklyn's embarrassment, started - "Do you remember the time we were in New Orleans and Brooklyn got sick all over the side of the bridge? We were all really worried about her but she was fine."
"Yeah," chimed in Emily, "she messed up that bridge - it was Brooklyn's bridge."
"After that I felt fine. " concluded Brooklyn with all three girls laughing and the embarrassment of the situation was gone.
The simplicity of this game makes it very powerful. It removes the fear, drama, confusion, embarrassment from a situation. In unique situations, it provides an opportunity to deliberately record an event as it is happening. But most importantly, with children, it gives them an opportunity to identify and express their feelings.
Even when I am on the road by myself and something happens that is making me uncomfortable, I find it comforting to write myself out of the situation - like "remember the time we were on the way to Tennessee and we were in a really bad storm and we thought that we were going to drive right off the side of hill but we didn't and when I finally stopped I got out of the car I kissed the ground."
I offer you this today because I have been looking at old (printed) photos all days. I remember some of amazing, exciting, scary, delicious, touching, surprising... times that are documented by these images and I look forward to making sure that I don't miss any of the "Do you remember the time" moments ahead.
Z
One of my favorite examples of this is what we now refer to as the Brooklyn Bridge in New Orleans. Brooklyn is my step-granddaughter. We were in New Orleans, in heavy traffic, and she got very sick in the car. We were on a bridge and pulled over onto a very narrow shoulder and Brooklyn preceded to be very sick all over the side of the bridge. As a 6 year old child she was mortified.
Arielle, recognizing Brooklyn's embarrassment, started - "Do you remember the time we were in New Orleans and Brooklyn got sick all over the side of the bridge? We were all really worried about her but she was fine."
"Yeah," chimed in Emily, "she messed up that bridge - it was Brooklyn's bridge."
"After that I felt fine. " concluded Brooklyn with all three girls laughing and the embarrassment of the situation was gone.
The simplicity of this game makes it very powerful. It removes the fear, drama, confusion, embarrassment from a situation. In unique situations, it provides an opportunity to deliberately record an event as it is happening. But most importantly, with children, it gives them an opportunity to identify and express their feelings.
Even when I am on the road by myself and something happens that is making me uncomfortable, I find it comforting to write myself out of the situation - like "remember the time we were on the way to Tennessee and we were in a really bad storm and we thought that we were going to drive right off the side of hill but we didn't and when I finally stopped I got out of the car I kissed the ground."
I offer you this today because I have been looking at old (printed) photos all days. I remember some of amazing, exciting, scary, delicious, touching, surprising... times that are documented by these images and I look forward to making sure that I don't miss any of the "Do you remember the time" moments ahead.
Z
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